Embracing My Role as a Productive Narcissist: Lessons from the Gita and Personal Growth

Balancing Family Dynamics: A Home-maker, mother, and a Homeopathic consultant’s Journey with Narcissist Traits.

As a homeopathic consultant with decades of experience, I have dedicated my life to healing others and guiding my family with love and wisdom. However, life threw me a curveball recently when I was labeled as a “narcissist.” The accusation stung deeply, leading me to reflect on my personality, my role as a mother, and how these traits have shaped both my professional and personal life.

The Shock of Being Called a Narcissist

When I first heard the term “narcissist” from my family, my initial reaction was one of hurt and confusion. How could the qualities that have helped me excel as a mother, wife, and professional be perceived so negatively by those closest to me? This prompted me to dig deeper into understanding what it means to have narcissistic traits and how they can impact relationships—both positively and negatively.

https://hbr.org/2004/01/narcissistic-leaders-the-incredible-pros-the-inevitable-cons

Understanding My Personality: The Protagonist Parent and Productive Narcissist

In my journey of self-discovery, I came across the concept of the “Protagonist Parent,” a term that resonated deeply with me. A protagonist parent is often a strong-willed, decisive, and influential figure within the family. They are natural leaders who are deeply invested in the well-being of their loved ones. However, these traits can sometimes be perceived as overbearing or controlling by others.

Further exploration led me to the idea of being a “Productive Narcissist.” According to research from the Harvard Business Review, productive narcissists are charismatic leaders who possess a compelling vision for their families or organizations. They are driven, ambitious, and often successful in rallying others around their goals. However, the very traits that make them effective leaders can also lead to conflicts, especially when others feel overshadowed or unheard.

The Pros of Having a Narcissistic Leader in the Family

While the term “narcissist” often carries negative connotations, it’s important to recognize the benefits that come with having a narcissistic leader in the family. Here are some of the positive aspects of this personality type:

1. Visionary Leadership: Narcissistic leaders often have a clear vision for the future. They are not afraid to dream big and inspire their family to pursue ambitious goals. In my case, this has meant ensuring that my children receive the best education, instilling strong values, and guiding them toward successful careers.
2. Resilience and Determination: Narcissistic individuals are typically resilient and determined, qualities that can be incredibly beneficial in a family setting. I have always been the rock in my family, providing strength and stability during difficult times. My ability to bounce back from setbacks and keep pushing forward has been a source of inspiration for my loved ones.
3. Confidence and Charisma: Confidence is a hallmark of narcissistic personalities. This confidence can be contagious, boosting the self-esteem of those around them. My confidence in my abilities as a homeopathic consultant has not only helped me build a successful practice but has also instilled a sense of pride and confidence in my children.
4. Protectiveness: Narcissistic leaders often feel a deep sense of responsibility for their family’s well-being. They are fiercely protective and will go to great lengths to ensure their loved ones are safe and secure. This protectiveness, while sometimes overwhelming, comes from a place of love and care.

A Spiritual Confirmation: Embracing My Role as a Productive Narcissist

As I continued my journey of self-reflection, I sought guidance from a spiritual source that has long been a cornerstone of my life: Dr. Shri Balaji Tambe’s Shri Gita Tarot. The experience was nothing short of enlightening, as it provided the answers I needed to fully embrace my identity as a productive narcissist.

My first tarot card reading, Card 50/05-03, was a resounding “Yes” to the question of whether I am a narcissist. Bhagvanuvach “Jiieyah sa nityasannyasi yo na dvesti na kanksati! Nirdvandvo hi mahabaho sukham bandhat pramucyate! (5-3). Ït translates as, “O Arjuna, he who does not hate nor desire anything, that man of karmayoga (yoga of action) should be considered a sannyasi (renunciate), because a man free of anger, duality, and other conflicts is free of the bonds of the world.”

The message here is “Just like you should not become jealous of somebody you should also not desire anything that is inappropriate. When you want to start a business your objective is to earn some money. But at this time if you wish that when you start your shop, other similar shops should close down, this is an in appropriate desire which you should not have. Be in a state of balance and carry out your business. If you are able to do this, then you will be able to free yourself from the binds of action. the obstacles to your question will be removed and you will have success.

The second tarot card reading, Card 51/05-06, “Shri Bhagvanuvach – Sannyasastu Mahabaho dihkhaptumayogatah! Yogayukta munirbahma nacirendahigacchati ! (5-6). That translates as “O Arjuna, it is difficult to attain to renunciation without the yoga of self-less action (i.e. giving up the doer-ship of the actions of the mind, senses and the body.)

Description: That karmayogi who constantly keeps in mind the form of the Lord, quickly attains to the Supreme.

The literal advise here is Lord Krishn advises that “this is a brief description of nishkaam karma (action without attachment). It is important to always keep in mind that, “I do not do (accomplish) anything. Even if I have done something, the energy that was required to achieve it was given to me by the Lord, (thakorji in my case), and so it is He who has done everything”. Two friends studied in the same class together since their childhood. They got their highter education together. Then they got jobs in different places. One of them got the post of a general manager with a salary of Rs 50,000, while the other works for Rs 15000 in a small firm. Their knowledge and education was of the same leve. But the share of the Lord’s blessings in their lives was different. Please be aware of the hand of God and you will realise that all things are actually done by Him. He who works having accepted this in his mind, is a nishkaam karmayogi (who has learned the knowledge of action without attachment), and he will attain to God very soon.

This further solidified my understanding. It reinforced the concept of Nishkaam Karma, the practice of selfless action, where one recognizes that all actions are ultimately the work of the Lord. This card reminded me of the importance of humility, acknowledging that while I may strive for success, it is the divine energy that enables me to achieve anything. This realization brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing that I am merely a vessel for the Lord’s work.

These spiritual confirmations have given me the clarity and confidence to accept my role as a productive narcissist. They have taught me that while my strong personality and leadership qualities are essential, it is equally important to remain humble, balanced, and aware of the divine hand guiding my actions. In doing so, I can continue to lead my family with wisdom and love, knowing that my journey is aligned with a higher purpose.

Striking a Balance: The Inevitable Cons

While there are many positives to being a narcissistic leader, it’s crucial to acknowledge the potential downsides. Narcissists can sometimes struggle with empathy, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts within the family. There is also the risk of becoming too controlling or dominating, which can stifle the independence and growth of others.

To strike a balance, it’s essential to cultivate self-awareness and practice active listening. By being mindful of how my actions and decisions affect my family, I can ensure that my leadership is both effective and compassionate.

A Journey of Growth: Balancing Loving Dominance

During my M.D. internship in homeopathy, I was diagnosed with a “loving dominating” personality. At first, this revelation caught me off guard. I realized that while my intentions were rooted in love and care, my assertive nature sometimes came across as overpowering. Understanding this aspect of my personality was a pivotal moment in my personal and professional development.

I knew that to strengthen my relationships and enhance communication, I had to find a balance between being assertive and being empathetic. Over the years, I worked diligently to refine this balance. I learned that healthy dominance can be an empowering trait, especially when it is expressed with empathy and compassion. With age and experience, I found that this approach led to fewer mistakes and deeper connections with others.

I believe in the energy exchange within the universe, and just as I have strived to be empathetic and compassionate towards others, I pray to the Lord for the universe to reciprocate the same empathy and compassion towards me. This belief has not only guided my interactions but also reinforced my faith in the power of positive energy and the importance of leading with love.

Being called a narcissist by my own family was a challenging experience, but it also offered an opportunity for growth. By understanding the pros and cons of my personality type, I have learned to embrace the strengths that come with being a protagonist parent and a productive narcissist while also working on areas that need improvement.

For those who share similar traits, I encourage you to recognize the value you bring to your family as a strong and visionary leader. At the same time, remember that leadership is most effective when it is balanced with empathy, humility, and a willingness to listen to the voices of those you love.

In the end, it’s not about changing who you are but about leveraging your strengths in a way that benefits everyone around you.